This I Believe

I believe in truth.  In boiling life down to the basics.
Driving the point home,  I recently chopped my hair off.  Not shaved to the scalp but I left less than an inch of the gray/white that is coming in these days.  I went from lots of dark hair piled on top of my head, curly strands hanging out of colorful ribbons and headbands, to monk-short and all white in the front.  I believe in having nothing to hide behind.  I believe in getting rid of vanity.
Truth means eating just what I need, even if that makes restaurant-eating a thing of the past.  Kale, green beans, seeds, currants, a little rice or oats, some hemp milk, ghee, and plenty of spices like turmeric, ginger, cardamom, and cinnamon keep me going just fine.  People don't ask if I want a glass of wine anymore and they've stopped making jokes about me (wink, wink) being the life of the party. Those jokes get old, and I am who I am -- mom, friend, daughter, sister, neighbor, teacher.
No one has to wonder what I think, or guess at my mood; it's simple and clear.
The truth means not being my daughter's best friend.  I can't play at being her buddy all the time when I have to set the limits and teach life skills which will serve her well in the long run.  Want to hang out with me yet?  I sound like a treat, I know!
Truth also means laughing until I fall to the floor gasping for air.  And having time to see the people I love best in the world.  It means I do the things I believe in, like hosting movie nights during the long, dark winters so some of us don't shut ourselves in until Spring.  It means walking in the woods and being with the plants and the birds, not always taking pictures of them to post somewhere. It means drawing lichen and moss with a dip pen and ink, with my subjects right there in front of me.  It means wearing warm wool in the winter and cool white cotton in the summer.  It means walking by myself sometimes, having my own thoughts, or being a quiet creature not thinking about anything at all.   The truth is I can't be busy all the time.  The truth is just existing in the snow or the rain or the blazing sun.  Truth changes.  I change.  I used to be married, and now I'm not.  The truth is I used to have long, dark hair, and the truth is that I used to be young.  I'll be 42 in February, which, truth be told, is not very old (now that I'm standing here in the land of 40).
The truth is that I am getting older and I am going to keep getting older.  And one day I will die -- that is the truth.  Why fight it off like a plague?  That is the big truth, isn't it?  That I will die.  My own big truth is that I want to be ready for it, to be at peace, to spend my time here on Earth letting go of all the extra stuff so that by the end I have nothing but the essentials in my heart and my life.   There isn't room to be better or worse than anyone else.  Same same.  All the same.
The truth is I live in the world, I cook for people, I clean my house, I walk the dogs,  I have a partner who copes well with truth, I have a daughter who gives me a run for my money but isn't that the job of a thirteen year old?  It's the world -- some days the sun shines and tall, pink cosmos bloom in the garden and some days (or months) are so cold and dark I forget the truth  -- that the sun will shine again, that it is all a cycle ... we come and we go, but while we are here we can be true and simple and clear -- it's okay.  I believe in truth.